After today's tutorial with Lucy, I was really pleased with the feedback and felt a sense of pride and relief that I made relatively successful work, considering the situation. It is also nice to know that we will actually get final feedback eventually and that this project wont just fly into the abyss and not be worth anything (not that it needs to be). 

I have planned out what I will be doing this week now in terms of officially completing the project. My outcomes are done so it's just about making sure everything on Workflow and my sketchbook is actually complete and to also do the evaluation and visualisation tasks, as well as, submitting a piece from the project to be in the CSM foundation publication. 

Today I completely finished my research page by adding a few more references. I'm not sure how many is the right amount, but I did as much as I felt inspired my work and it has been the most research I've ever done out of all the 'parts' this year. I then did some painting in my sketchbook, visualising the sound designs I created as I thought it would be a cool way to translate the context into a different medium, one that I am still new to as well.

After this, I then updated and finalised my bibliography and timetable which I uploaded to the 'Project Proposal' page on workflow. So, overall this day has just been about organising and catching up with the bits I didn't prioritise beforehand. Tomorrow, I will probably just proof read my workflow as I don't usually think about grammar or wording when I am typing here and will also hopefully complete at least the visualisation and/or evaluation of my final outcomes. 

Today has also not been exciting in terms of work tasks. Coming to the end of the project, this week feels more about admin, organisational and evaluation - type work rather than actually creative stuff which obviously isn't as fun but I feel like every creative job does have that aspect to it. I have just been catching up with research as this is the section I struggle with the most, I find it so hard to concentrate for long periods of time and research is just constantly writing fairly long analysis. I have been doing a plan where I do two research's a day so it isn't overwhelming and I can just put maximum bursts of focus within daily one hour intervals rather than being half-hearted about what I am writing. Moreover, I got up to date with my contextual practise, there was only two days to catch up on but it felt better to do it now than let it add up. It has been interesting looking back at my Workflow from part 1 through to part 3 as there feels like a massive shift in enthusiasm and improvement. In part 1 and 2 I found it really overwhelming being in massive classes and only having one day to one week long projects but part 3 definitely felt more at ease since the classes were smaller and we had around 6 weeks to complete this. Even though this method of one week projects isn't right for everybody, I do still think it is a good concept to have because as much as I hated it and produced below satisfactory work it did teach me a lot about just putting an idea on paper and trying it out. I came into foundation thinking that I was going be producing portfolio worthy work and that hasn't been the case for me personally but I have definitely come out with the skill of letting go and just playing around, having fun with different techniques rather than stressing out about how it's going to look.

Tomorrow, I have a feedback tutorial with Lucy and from there I will continue with what is advised. Whether that is improving work or just having a clear start on how to do the visualisation and evaluation work. 

Over this weekend I decided not to do much work as I basically have finished my outcomes, so now it will be the case of finalising my workflow and bibliography. Next week my focus will be on evaluating my work and preparing work for the publication; I will also be having feedback with Lucy on Tuesday so I'd rather wait till then to see if there's anything that needs improving/how to move forward with the evaluation. 

I think these two days off means that I will feel really motivated on Monday to get stuff completed and I feel like I need to start learning how to relax as after this deadline is done there will be a lot of relaxing, which I'm not used to doing. 

Today I completed my publication by creating the sound design using pedals and a synth. This one wasn't planned out as the one for the flip book video was as with this one my idea was just to improvise for ten minutes. I'm still quite new to pedals and so some of the sounds don't go properly or it sounds a bit disjointed to the rest of the stuff, but some of It actually works but I like the imperfectness of the design and it isn't too distracting from looking at the publication either. 

The improvisation aspect to it relates to the publication really well since it does feel like the equivalent to automatic writing, where you just spill out what comes to mind without pausing. There is a sense of honesty and openness to it through being raw and untouched. I've realised that I do really enjoy sound design and this would be something I'd like to really focus on in future projects or if I went to university. I was questioning university a lot however it feels like a bad idea at the moment to go to art school whilst we are in a time of uncertainty, where we could constantly be going in and out of isolation. Especially because with art school, you are paying more for the facilities more than anything so it does feel like a waste of money if I went this year. 

After my sound design was done, I used a website to link it to a QR code which I then attached to the introductory page for readers to scan to listen to at the same time as reading. My intention of this was so that it wasn't just a publication, but a sensory experience similar to what I have been mentioning really early on in this project when I focused on the techno nightlife scene.

Now, I am completely done so far with this last weeks intentions to summarise my whole project. I am proud of the results, considering I have done it with just an iPhone, a pedal and Adobe. I feel like both the flip book video and the publication wouldn't have been effective alone but accompanied with each other on top of the sound design feels like a complete final outcome tying in everything I've learned about escapism, through my reading, and also through developing an understanding of what wanting to escape feels like. It's interesting how at the start if my project it  was just about documenting what escapism feels like but by the end of it there was an added layer of questioning whether we do actually ever escape. Overall, it is nice to feel like the final pieces came from a huge strand of developments and new ideas as I was really worried at the start that I would end up repeating myself or feeling stagnant. It goes to show how far you can go with something and how many different directions you can take from the start of a blank page.

I am done with all my work and so my focus now, until I receive feedback on Tuesday, will be to tweak and polish up my workflow, as well as, my timetable and bibliography. I will also continue reading, as even though I might not have time to develop anything, it is just good to learn and also have inspiration if I ever wanted to develop this after this term is complete.

Today my focus was to get words into the publication for the front introductory page, a spread page and little snippets in between. With the introductory, it was quite simple to get my words across as I just wanted to outline questions that I wanted to be raised in the publication and what I am trying to convey with my work, however I worded it in a more pretentious way to fit the mood. However, with the rest of the writing I struggled and so decided it would be a good idea to make a mini zine where I would fill it with automatic writing hoping that there will be excerpts in it that would be great for the double page spread. I wanted a double page spread filled with personal writing as I feel like this whole book is about the inside of a mind contrasting with everyday life and so I feel like automatic writing in the publication would be a good way of making it feel vulnerable and introspective. 

The small zine was fun to make and it felt like a crafty break from doing work whilst still feeling productive, it also felt cathartic writing freely with no stopping or thinking about punctuation. With the small zine I also added the gloopy shaped patterns on the front cover as it felt more fitting and was a design I wanted to try out anyway. Even though the zine was a development and an outcome, I treated it more like an experimentation to bounce off of it for my publication. After this, I added some excerpts from the zine onto a double page I made it just as continuous as it was in the zine and even if people didn't read it, I like the design of how the words feel the page making it feel chaotic but orderly at the same time. For the front/back cover, introduction and this double page spread I used the font Alte Haas Grotesk in bold as it is confronting and clear whilst also slightly having a stylistic element to it. 

I wanted to also incorporate hand-writing into the publication but only slightly so that it doesn't get confused with a DIY zine, which is a style I have been doing a lot lately. I flicked through my sketchbook to find transcriptions from the 'Escape Attempts' book I have been reading as there are loads of poetic and philosophical quotes that would've really suited this. Once I found the quotes I liked, I wrote this out, scanned it in and used photoshop to rub out any paper to then create a png which was then placed over specific pictures. 

On the back cover, I made the same layout as the front cover where it was grey with a white slip and an image alongside the attributes. Overall, I am extremely pleased so far and gutted that this won't be graded but it will be good anyway to have and it is always nice to make your own publication. Tomorrow, I will finalise this booklet through creating an accompanied sound design and creating a QR code to place in the publication for people to scan and listen at the same time as looking through the pages.

Continuing on with my publication piece, I decided to sketch out a template of how it will roughly look like. Initially, I wanted the front page to feel gloopy and dream-like with muted colours of swirly patterns and inside I wanted the images to be full blown across the page with hints of hand-written writing dotted around. 

Once this was complete, I now had a structure for where everything was going and so in order I continued editing the photos accordingly and then placed them in the InDesign document as I went a long. I started to add on details to editing the photos through liquifying some of the images to create surreality and also creating double exposure effects on others to feel like there is movement and franticness. Some of the photos I just left them how they were as I thought it would be nice to have some that spoke for themselves otherwise I thought that it would be over the top distorting everything in the publication. When it came to the front cover, my idea completely changed. I started to do what I roughly sketched out in my sketchbook, however, it just felt a bit forced and A-level like so I scrapped the whole thing, I even scrapped the name too. It was originally going to be called "The Domain Of Privacy" but I thought it would be more fitting to shorten it down to "SUBMISSION/RESIGNATION'. Rather than being gloopy and dreamy surrounded by shapes, I decided to go more minimalist and simply have an image, a grey background and a slit of white where the title would be at a 90 degrees vertical angle. This definitely suited the publication a lot more and through looking at it at a glance, I feel like you would instantly get an idea about what would be inside. The other cover option felt a bit too separated from the rest. Even though we are supposed to sketch out initial ideas, I find myself always coming away from it in the end and I do just like opening up Photoshop and starting completely blank with no previous sketches since it means there's no pressure to conform to an idea. I think this would be different if I was an illustrator or a painter where you need to do a few tests but I feel like with collaging and graphics, you can just go into it with confidence sometimes and play around as you go a long.

Tomorrow, I will complete the publication with writing and then potentially do the sound design to accompany it.

Today I began to make a start on my publication development through continuing photographing self portraits. I set my camera up on a tripod and videoed myself dancing and moving around fluidly and rapidly so that I could have a range of expressions, actions and blur when I come to screen-grabbing. I took more videos than I needed to which is a habit I do with photography anyway, doing more than necessary which even though may be useful is a pain to go through and select the favourites. Eventually I did this, screen-grabbed the bits I liked and started playing around with editing. I only did a rough start to the edit through colour-grading them and creating the basis of the tone that I wanted in the zine which would feel very intimate, dated and a bit discomforting. This was done through cropping and focusing only one area of the body, alongside using a very simple warm and slightly high contrasted film-like colour grade. 

In the late afternoon, I returned to the flip book video and started to play around with pedals and a synth that I have access to. I didn't want the sound design to be over excessive as I feel like this would take away the focus on the photography, I wanted it to be an ambient and fitting accompaniment. Funnily enough, despite it sounding satirical, I was influenced by the first lyrics of the song Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal: " I wake up every day is a daydream, I wake up just to go back to sleep" and at first I thought, as a joke, I might incorporate it in somehow to the sound design. However, when I recorded myself speaking the lyrics and distorting this with the pedals it actually sounded really interesting and suitable. So, I went with the Dizzee Rascal idea, I think this also hopefully helps lower the pretentiousness of the work. Once this was uploaded to the edit, I added subtitles of the lyrics to the video and played around with timing with this and eventually went with having them flicker as if it was stuck on a loop, just like the photography of me falling. 

Overall, I am super pleased with the final edit,  if I had the ability to, to complete it I would have projected this into small spaces such as on a pillow or on normal objects like a book or in a saucepan to highlight how the fantasy of escapism creeps in unexpected and within normal routine. I feel that this video alone isn't enough for a final piece and so this will be combined with a publication which I will be continuing to complete tomorrow. 

I feel like the admin Workflow side of the work is such a hassle sometimes as I feel like this is where I spend the most of my time, catching up with research and contextual practise. It was something that needed to be done and so I focused on this in the morning. In the afternoon, I pieced the falling self-portraits together in a sequence in Premier Pro where I played around with frame and timing so that it felt jittery and as if you were flicking a page. One of the objectives of this flip book was to ensure there were no continuity errors, that the timing, colour grading and framing were exactly the same per photo so that it didn't feel off-balance. However, I noticed that the occasional time change in image actually looked better and suited the unpredictability of the photography, as well as the sound design I was intending to make. 

I am very happy with the edit so far and tomorrow I will complete it by creating a sound design to add to the atmosphere of the video, to enhance it. At the moment, I feel like I am really spacing my work out so that I can do stuff daily as technically I could complete a lot in one day but there is not a lot to actually complete when you're limited with material. I felt like it would be too late to start a completely new development aside from what was planned, so on the side I have just been using my sketchbook to do random sketches and notes that keep me productive alongside reading non-fiction books.

Unfortunately, I didn't do much today due to my mum getting quite seriously ill. It's strange because I knew Corona Virus was a serious thing but there's days I kinda don't think about it because everyday has turned into the same due to isolation. However, I think that now hearing of friend's families being effected and now my family also being impacted it does become very anxiety-inducing and obviously takes over as my main priority today is making sure my mum is okay, especially as I am away from home.

Hopefully tomorrow the shock will calm down/things will feel more under control and if so I will then carry on with finalising my project. 

I did a self-tape today for a drama school recall so I didn't do any work today, however, doing the self tape made me think about how flat something could fall if you do overdo something. I did a few takes for my self tape and the first few were find to send off but there was still that urge to just carry on and land the 'perfect' take. Except, the more I did takes, the less it felt truthful or fun and I realise I just needed to stop as there's no such thing has a perfect option and the best takes were at the beginning when they were fresh. 

This links to the art world too, I guess there's a sense of trying to find the balance between making sure something is refined but not overdone or overworked. I feel like the only way you can tell is just through instinct, maybe that is only the case with acting and there is a less pretentious way to realise when something is overdone with art but I do think it is important to know when to just be happy with what you have done. 

Tomorrow, I will make a start on my finalisation of this project through planning in my sketchbook, refining my research and contextual practise page, as well as, potentially re-shooting some self-portraits or playing around with what I have.

I'd like to make an online flip book accompanied with sound design for the images of me falling, with the images being a set I don't feel the need to reshoot. I would like to shoot some more self-portraits after completing the flip-book to then make a mini publication

I didn't do much work today as I was preparing and then did a livestream for @in_thesameboat discussing my artwork, asking for feedback/comments and then also talking about overcoming obstacles + discoveries whilst being in isolation. 

To do the livestream, I organised a list of notes so that I had a structure to what I was talking about as I don't think I'd be able to talk spontaneously for half an hour straight. When it came to actually doing the livestream, it was weirdly nerve-wrecking and I felt myself completely randomly and not sticking to the notes at all, but they were still there for safety. Whilst doing the livestream, I thought that I wasn't making any sense and I honestly just wanted it to end but after looking back it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and I ended up getting a lot of good feedback from people via Instagram, as well as, connecting with new artists. 

Overall, it was a daunting experiencing that was something I've never done before. It was nice to go outside of my comfort zone even though I didn't realise it was outside of my comfort zone until I threw myself in. It is something I'd do again because it was nice to kind of talk to nobody but everybody at the same time? I was just talking to my phone camera whilst people were listening from other places. I'd definitely recommend it to other students as it's a good way of practising presentation skills whilst also being able to take feedback from people that aren't just your parents or friends, they're actual art students and creatives who could have a critical input. 

I will not be doing much work tomorrow either as I have an audition that I need to work on all day, however, I will still be keeping in mind plans that I need to fulfil and ways that I will manage my time when it gets round to doing the work. 

This morning, I had a call meeting with a course member and our tutor, Lucy, where we went over questions that we had and were given advice on how to complete our project. We were also told that we would have mini tasks after the 27th to complete regarding being an art student whilst being in isolation. It is a bit gutting to know that we won't be having a final exhibition as for someone like me, I wasn't really planning to go to do an art degree after this so this final project and exhibition was going to be an ease into the world of interning/freelancing. Also, considering how hard we all worked to get into CSM/how hard students have worked during the course, it would have just been a nice finalisation of the year to have an exhibition but hopefully this is something we can still arrange separately once lockdown is over. 

I was overthinking a lot of how I was going to finalise my project, as I was thinking of creating more developments and tests and making a physical publication. But, Lucy reassured that this may be a lot of pressure considering we have less than 2 weeks to complete this without facilities and physical materials. Her advice was to use this development I have just completed and create a film from what I've got which I think is also a good idea since I can be more detailed with what I already have rather than rushing something new. I aim to incorporate sound design into my film since this still has a link to the work I was making at the beginning of this project, whilst also possibly stimulating the audience's senses. If I finish this work with a lot of time leftover, I will also do an extension development of making an online publication featuring these strange self-portraits I have been taking with an incorporated file that has an accompanied sound design that you can listen to whilst looking through the pages? 

Ultimately, being in the unknown about what is going on and not having much to work with, my mindset right now is to keep creating and just doing the best I can. Knowing that I may not be graded isn't the best news but at the same time this takes off a lot of pressure where I can just make stuff for pure experimentation and enjoyment rather than trying to fit a criteria. 

Despite being very happy with my self portraits of me falling and knowing what I want to do next with it, I still wanted to carry on testing different ways I can do self portraits since we are coming to the end of this project, so I want to ensure that I am following through with the best outcome that sums up everything I've been doing. I am continuing with the idea of self portraits because I like the abstract decisions that you can do with them, and the fact that I can be the photographer and the subject not only makes me feel like I'm playing an active role in the artwork, but also links to my love for performance. Alongside this, I have always enjoyed taking a microscopic route with my work and self portraits are the best way to reflect an internal, invasive and intimate perspective. 

I did the exact same process of producing as I did with the sequence of me falling, where I placed the I-phone on my camera tripod and filmed me moving about. Initially, I tried to copy what I first sketched out in my sketchbook of me moving against the walls to then create a black and white stop animation which felt claustrophobic and desperate to physically escape. However, when it came to actually executing, the obstacle of the space around me was giving off a claustrophobic vibe, but instead just an awkward vibe where it looked like I didn't really know what I was doing, despite having this plan. So, I scrapped this idea, similar to the poster design I was doing you have to try things to realise that it isn't working out to then move on. My alternative option was to cut out the complexity of what I was doing and simply record myself moving around the space fluidly but really close to the camera so that I don't get too caught up in what I am doing in relation to how it will look. When this was completed, I then screen-shotted moments again that were blurry or felt distant from the present moment and then played with these in Photoshop.

Even though this route is a complete diversion to the theme of Rave culture and how it links to escapism, number one: it had to be done in order to pursue a creative project whilst in isolation and number two: regardless of the diversion, the work I did do relating to the dance scene still has influenced the work I am doing now. For example, when editing my self-portraits in Photoshop, the approach I took to editing the posters I made previously has seeped into the process I am doing now through the use of being experimental with distortion, colour and layering. The use of distortion and playing around with colour was also influenced by two quotes I read in the book Escape Attempts: "Our lives are run through with fantasies: they invade our work place, our kitchen table, our marriage bed." (pg.90) and "the mind is the last and only domain of privacy, an internal space" (pg.89) My intention with the use of distortion and colour, based off of these quotes, were to portray the inner parts of ourselves, the darker and more fantasy-like identity that is only kept within us yet still intrudes during our mundane and daily routines. The distortion and colours created a warped view of the portraits which would usually just appear ordinary and it transforms the pieces into something more peculiar and out-of-reality. Overall, the portraits now start to question the relationship between escapism, intrusive thoughts and how these effect the daily life. 

Next, I will pitch my ideas, that I will do to hopefully finalise my project within the next ten days, to Lucy on the tutorial video call tomorrow. I aim to do something relating to a publication and a short video accompanied with sound design since I am lucky enough to be isolating somewhere with loads of sound equipment. 

Today I immediately got into doing some test shoots to avoid procrastinating. I started off, as planned, doing the falling sequence through leaning my Iphone on to my camera tripod (I did have a camera with me, however, I forgot to bring my charger with me to Newcastle and my battery died). Then, I recorded myself falling backwards onto the bed in a graceful and committed manner, as if I was just giving myself to the air? 

It was a case of doing a few takes as I needed to figure out what the best framing was in terms of if my body was in shot and whether it looked attractive on camera (not in terms of beauty but just looking right/not distracting?) When I was happy with the chosen video, I put this on my laptop and screen-shotted consecutive moments so when I put them all together, it looked like a still pattern that could then be turned into a stop motion loop or a flip-book. After this, I edited the photos so that they looked as if they were taken from a medium format film camera since this just gave it more of a dated and textured look. I felt like because this series looks intimate and personal, a film aesthetic would be the best route to take. Also, I have a tendency to make self-portraits black and white or sepia, I feel this may be a self conscious thing as if I'm trying to flatten out any flaws which is a ridiculous concept to have when doing art, let alone self portraits. Instead, I forced myself to opt for a coloured, yellow-ey tinge which I ended up really liking because it felt nostalgic and offbeat. As a result, this may be a filter that I'll bring into my next developments.

Next, I would like to make this into a flip-book. I was going to do this DIY but to save the effort of making something with limited resources that wont look brilliant, instead I may do a digital flip-book (basically a stop motion animation) and put this on a loop to express a mix between the mundane need to feel something extreme and spontaneous.

I slowly got back into work today through sketching out in my sketchbook the ideas I have whilst also coinciding this with research that I can gain more visual influences off of. In regards to research, I have been trying to look more at exhibitions as there isn't much of a balance between the artists I have on my research page alongside articles, books, films and exhibitions. Obviously, it doesn't help that we are on lockdown but I will look at videos of exhibitions, virtual tours and reviews to make up for it and even provide even a tiny bit of versatility to my research.

Tomorrow, I will be revisiting an idea I had at the start of this project that I have refined more in my sketchbook today. I will talk more about it tomorrow once I have gone through the process and shot it. I didn't complete this idea at the start as I felt very strongly about straight away going down the dance scene route, which this had no relation to. Now I feel like the combination of isolation and my project coming to a definite decision on the connotations I want to portray, this is the right time to complete the idea. It's always a nice feeling going full circle unexpectedly with work since it feels more organic and done out of a natural enjoyable decision rather than just trying to force out ideas. This is similar to how when doing my CSM portfolio, most of my work was very DIY, playful and mixed media which I abandoned during my year here despite being very strong at it. However it does feel right to now be ending my project (and year here) revisiting this style and making it a pinnacle part of a project. 

On Friday and Saturday, I admittedly didn't do anything with the excuse being that it was Easter Friday and Saturday. I'm not even religious but when everyone else is taking time off, I thought I might as well too. I have a tendency of writing lists, as you may start to notice, it makes me feel like I am being productive even though I literally didn't do anything over these two days. Therefore, I made a list to outline what I wanted to get accomplished once I can no longer use Easter as an excuse not to do work. 

I see that a lot of UAL students are getting quite frustrated at how we have kind of been abandoned and expected to settle for virtual art school. I understand both sides of the situation, everyone is at loss at the moment but I do feel like there are much better and more reasonable ways it could be handled since online art school is not feasible nor worth the fees that we are paying.  There was this quote/anecdote I saw that went a long the lines of: 

"If you paid a construction worker to build you a house and then everyone was forced to go into lockdown, the builder could:

1. Cancel construction plans and give a full refund.

2. Keep the money but offer to build the house at a later date.

But, what they wouldn't do is give mixed signals, keep the money and leave the occupant to live in a virtual/cyber-house'

For some reason that does make a lot of sense. 

Today, I updated my sketchbook through sticking in the print outs of the isolated people and rip outs of collaging materials to present my starting points. I also started to transcribe quotes from the book I am reading into my sketchbook, annotating phrases that spark ideas/thoughts. It was a good idea to revisit these quotes after a while of reading the book as coming back to them introduces me fresher views on what I underlined, some felt irrelevant now but some have potentially become poignant references for the continuation of my work. 

I then created a rough sketch of what I'd like to shoot this week and I then translated this into a story board as I am thinking of doing an accompanied stop motion video. I don't have a printer with enough ink so I cannot print out references to stick in but when I scan my sketchbook pages in, I'll edit in what I would've printed onto the page. Tomorrow, I aim to start shooting my concept, even if it is just a test version just to put the idea into real life form and play around with what it could become. 

I finally completed an outcome for the poster that I was asked to do for someone's podcast. Personally, I wanted to tweak the design through replacing Photoshop shapes with similar shapes found through scanned in materials as I felt this was just a style preference I thought looked more interesting than just a square.

We went back and forth for a while about the placing of text. The guy was worried about the curved text not being clear enough, however, I felt really strongly about there being curved text as it just fitted in with the poster really well and felt part of the design rather than just text on paper. If he was adamant on there being no curved text then I would've agreed to it, however, where there was room for compromise I felt like I should've put in an opinion as the final outcome would reflect my work. Eventually we figured out a way to have the name of  the podcast look clearer whilst also having the curved text. The steps are shown above and the final poster is shown on the OUTCOMES page. 

Tomorrow, I will now focus on the next steps of my escapism project. 

Today, I focused on making the collage based around the isolated dancers. I wanted to create something that was fun and represented a form of togetherness despite each addition to the collage being separate cut outs. The use of bright colour and a scattered layout is intended to create a flatter, paper form version of the sensory, fantasy-like space you get when you're in a club. Overall, I wanted the collage to feel like an explosion and unordered design of different people, colours and form coming together with the same intention.

I originally planned to do a stop motion after this with the cut outs, however, I feel that this is starting to come away from escapism and be more about isolation and the dance scene. I may come back to it at some point during the Easter Holidays just for fun, however, I am now going to go in a completely different direction from the dance theme and focus purely on the feeling of escapism that touches upon the mental health around it and wanting to escape during isolation. A lot of my influences will come from the book I have been reading 'Escape Attempts' in the chapter about prisoners and escapism. During the week, I will start to sketch up my idea and if it is going to be a video/stop animation, I will also do a storyboard with visual references. 

I revisited the videos of people dancing  and created a montage of them all in one video to show different people in different environments all experiencing the same feeling you get in a club but in different circumstances due to COVID-19. Then, I screen-shotted moments where there were clear and expressive movements. With these, I then used Photoshop to isolate the body away from the rest of the environment and put these all on a file to print. I decided to isolate them as I feel this links to the topical theme of COVID-19, I also feel like this opens up flexibility with design as I can do collages and stop motions with variation rather than each screenshot image relying on each other. 

After this, I printed the file of isolated dancers and then physically isolated each image from each other by tearing them off the page to then blue tac into my sketchbook individually to then scan in. I then did the same process with magazine textures and colours, finding patterns and visuals that I wanted to incorporate into my work, ripped them out and scanned them in.  My next steps will be to create a fun collage with influences from Demi Whiffin, Amelia Gildford and artwork from the band Drug Store Romeos which are all playful and simple. 

Honestly, over the weekend I didn't do much as for some reason the weekend felt like break days even though everyday could be a break day at the moment. I was still keeping up to date with the Instagram page @in_thesameboat which has daily livestreams of students/graduates sharing their work, tutorials etc during isolating to receive feedback and inspiration. Watching these are interesting to see how other people are adapting to the situation, as well as just seeing people's work in general and getting inspiration from it; they are also strangely really relaxing to watch as well. I have been invited to do a livestream on the page and so this has given me motivation during next week to create more work that I would be proud of sharing. 

I have written a list of what I will be doing next week. My aim is to create more outcomes rather than just developments, as well as completing this poster commission. I also need to start learning how to balance my acting life and art life during the lockdown as there is a lot of lowkey pressure from the acting industry to be having calls with casting directors, writing, practising, connecting with the industry from home. Even though, this isn't forced, there is undoubtedly that pressure and so I need to learn either to relax and ignore it or find a way to calmly introduce it into my new schedule. 

I wasn't really feeling the poster that I was making for the 'client', I just felt like I was trying to make something that wasn't my style and was trying to take influences from artists who had a lot more materials than I do currently such as Riso-printers, stamps, illustrator pads etc. It was cool to experiment with ways I could create the same effects but through Photoshop and hand-drawings but ultimately it didn't feel like something I could receive money for and so I scrapped it. This was slightly frustrating as I spent all day on it but I would rather make a good first impression with paid work rather than just settling. Despite the client being very set on this specific type of style, I explained to him the obstacles of it and a potential alternative version that would be of a higher quality whilst still representing what he want whilst representing my style too. He agreed with the compromise and I immediately started to draft up something new. 

Straight away the design felt so much better and had more clarity and skill to it. It was the best decision I made to not settle for what I was making before as it's led me to a more suited idea. Eventually, I finalised with a first draft that the client was very pleased with. Even though this doesn't' directly relate to my final project, it is enabling me to develop skills that I have been using and can easily slot in as additional work. However, after this I will be placing my focus back on to photography and will eventually be placing my focus more on the feeling of escapism rather than ways one can escape e.g club culture. 

Today I organised myself for the next few days through my sketchbook so that I can move forward with clarity. 

I did this through sketching out what I want to do with my video of people dancing so that when it comes to actually making it, I can just follow the steps I'm making by looking at the book. I have also been ensuring that I am completely up to date in terms of research, workflow, sketchbook and outcomes for this week so that next week I can get on with creating further work without the overheads of the writing/documenting responsibilities. 

To finalise this week's work, I have asked people to film themselves dancing to the screen recording of the livestream. I have a few options that I will then try with this footage:

1. Create a montage, playing with the pacing and colouring of the people dancing to the livestream documenting how people are 'escaping' in isolation. Will play around with close ups on people's hands, faces, movements etc and coincide the movements with the livestream recording.

2. Screenshot aspects of each video of people dancing, print out the screenshots and isolate the individual dancers through cutting out their body and sticking it onto paper. Scanning this back into Photoshop to then play around with ways this could feel like movement, even though they aren't moving alongside making it feel quite sensory. I could do this through duplicating the images, fragmenting the images, making them one colour e.g turning one of the cutouts pink and another blue etc. 

3. Do something similar to idea number 2, except use the cutouts to create an animation. This idea is still quite loose and something I would have to play around with in order to figure out, however, I feel like the last two ideas I have mentioned would transform the overall piece from a documentation to a design outcome. 

Also, I started to think about what I will do next week. Ideally I'd like to come away from the dance culture concept as I feel that eventually this will feel stifling and there is also so much I'd be interested in exploring when linking escapism to isolation. I'd like to go more abstract and focus on self-portraits and movement. I have this idea of setting my shutter speed really slow and creating a blurred stop motion of me moving around the edges of my room. This would evoke the feeling of claustrophobia and the desire to physically escape whilst also the effect of the blurriness would already create a tone of an out of body experience (which slightly links to the dance culture theme anyway). My boyfriend owns a synth and loads of different  pedals, so it would be interesting to create an ambient/atmospheric sound design over this to perpetuate the mood even more. My PPP isn't solely about dance culture, more about the core feeling of escapism so I don't think this would be inappropriate decision to take and could be considered more of a change in direction from what I have been doing since it still shares the link of movement equalling escapism. 

For the rest of the day, I will be designing a poster commissioned by a podcaster on electronic music. It's interesting how my work for this project has now seeped into my normal life where I will be now transferring these skills into paid work for someone else's project. There comes an added element of pressure and responsibility, however my research on the graphic designers found on itsnicethat.com have taught me ways to adapt my style for a client. 

Unfortunately, I didn't do much today as I felt a bit ill (nothing to worry about, just under the weather!) 

However, I started thinking about how I would present my recent livestream work in real life if I had the chance to. I would make it into an interactive/performance piece where I would place the posters around an area, for example: Granary Square and lead people to a nearby location. Within the location, my livestream video would be projected extremely large scale, around 10/20ft tall in an ideal world, against a wall and provide a space where people could dance. As a result, this would forcefully fuse the idea of letting go and coming away from reality in a space where people usually work and so therefore blurring the two worlds.

After I have officially completed this weeks work, I might actually create mockups of where my work would go on Photoshop. For example, I will edit the video as if it was projected against the CSM building or with my park/rave video, have this edited into a park climbing frame or warehouse-y walls with the photography placed by it. I would do this so that I can present a very rough idea of what I would've potentially done if we weren't isolating. 

My day was mainly filled with catching up with my sketchbook. I don't have access to a printer with a lot of ink so my plan is to just edit any photos that I would print on to a scanned page so that when I upload these to workflow, the tutors will be able to see what would be on the page if I had the facilities. This also gives me a chance to come away from printing and push myself to put more effort into drawing and maybe painting. Being a lens-based student, I find it easy to be really quick with the sketching so that I can focus on the photography/film-making and I feel that we probably are excused for doing this. Now, I do have the time to spend loads of time on one page, even though I am not a great drawer/painter, I should just be more creative and enjoy the process of sketch booking.

I watched a livestream today on an instagram page called @in_thesameboat, ran by a third year LCC photography student called Holly Delooze. The page is a platform for artists to share work and do livestreams on tutorials and what they have been up to, it's supposed to act as a form of crit that we usually get in the classroom but can no longer get at the moment due to COVID-19. Today, I watched Holly's livestream on her presenting her work that she's being doing in isolation for her third year project on routine. One thing that stood out to me was when she mentioned that she was making things now for the sakes of making things and staying creative rather than worrying about what the outcome will be/whether it will be good enough for her project. This makes a lot of sense since there is only such much you can do in your house with the materials you have but in general the process and habit of making creative work would be more important anyway as this is where you improve and actually devise your ideas. As a result, my mindset on this final project isn't so much about what I produce but more of just being consistent and experimental with it. Before going into self-isolation, I was so focused on how everything was going to look, how it would be presented etc. which of course is important but I felt like how I would get to that point wasn't what was on my mind a lot. For example: for one week, I had the aim to go to clubs to capture the pure sensory experience of losing yourself and then putting these into a large format publication without even playing around with binding techniques or structure etc. Whereas now, I have been doing a variety of things such as livestreams and poster-making where I have really delved into the trial and error process, collaboration and starting to worry less on whether it will look good. In a way, this has made the experience more cathartic and mindful.

Today, I compiled together screen recordings on the livestream and made it into a montage to document the online event (this is on my outcomes page). Obviously, this isn't enough for an outcome itself but I will be using this as a step forward. After this, I did some reading in the 'Escape Matters' book, however, I am getting fairly bored of it. I am unsure on whether to carry on or whether to just pick up a new book; I have a bad habit of wanting to finish a book regardless of whether I find interest in it or not. I guess the benefit of this book is that, with it being non-fiction, I will learn something from it either way. 

Tomorrow, I aim to get some sketch booking done. Before, I went into isolation I went to an art shop and picked up some acrylic paints as I want to try out more ways of expressing my ideas and documentation rather than just collaging and bad sketching. I may even just paint for the fun of it in my sketchbook as a way to just keep creating and developing a new skill. I have also been using Photoshop in a different way, using it more in a way to come up with graphic designs rather than editing photos. 

This morning, I advertised my poster through Instagram and also created a Facebook event, as if it was an actual club night. Through doing the Facebook event, I was able to invite people to it and people would be able to respond with "Going", "Interested" and "Can't Go"; in a way it created excitement as if it was something you would have to prepare for.

I also made a group chat with the DJ's where we planned times and how it was going to work. This way, it felt like everybody was taking it seriously like an actual event, as well as, simply being organised. 

At 6pm, the livestream started, it was a very fun thing to do and I enjoyed watching people watch the livestream and get really into it. Our views fluctuated from a solid 5 to sometimes up to a 12! It wasn't much, but it was more than I expected. At times, there were technical difficulties with the Instagram live sometimes needing to be rebooted, the bass of the DJ controllers not being picked up very well and occasional lagging. However, all in all it still went unnoticeable because it wasn't about how professional the quality was.  In the future, if I was to do this again I would look at a different streaming service where people can have it in the background whilst still doing other stuff on their phone, as well just having better sound quality overall. The benefits of Instagram live was that it meant that it would pop up instantly to at least 3000+ Followers combined (with my account and the DJs), however, the downside was that you can't watch the livestream at the same time as doing other things on your phone and with everybody having small attention spans and people to contact during this time, it was hard to maintain consistent views.

Next, I will start to draft up ways that I can turn this livestream into a moving image form in order to create a final art/design  outcome. 

I revisited the poster I made after realising it was definitely unfinished and quite bland; sometimes you need to put your work at rest to then come back to it and realise what needs improving on. Observing Collin Fletcher and Dima Shiryaev's work, I notice that they incorporate the typography into the design rather than layered on top as a piece of information. So, I watched a couple of Photoshop tutorials on Youtube to think of ways I could combine interesting typography with technique to create a similar effect. I watched one video on liquifying text, making it look as if it has melted and one on creating a smooth 3D text that looked almost 80s-esque. However, when trying these out, I felt like it looked too forced and didn't really suit what I was looking for. When creating the melted effect on text, it just felt like Word Art and it was a case of either I need to practise more on that technique or it just wasn't right for the poster. 

 I gave up on Photoshop tutorials for now and accepted that I did just like the font that the poster already had so it wasn't about trying to make it look technical, but instead just incorporating it well into the poster, like a jigsaw. Firstly, I added the additional information that it needed and then after that it was a case of trial and error of playing around with shapes and colours that would go around it. After a while of messing around on Photoshop and looking at different poster influences on itsnicethat.com, I finally came up with keeping the same tone of the poster I had previously but adding simple additional shapes to coincide with the text. I also noticed as well that where the text was place was also a form of design that affected whether the poster was going to be eye-catching or not.

When I was pleased with the final draft, I printed the page out and played around with creating texture through ripping and folding. Then,  I scanned this back in and re-colour graded the poster. Above are the drafts of my poster and on my outcomes is the final piece. 

Next, I will start thinking about how I will advertise my livestream and how this poster will have an effect on that. 

Please could I receive feedback on my poster and idea so far, as well as support on what I can do next as I feel quite stuck?

My idea for next week would be to make a stop motion of self portraits of me dancing? or taking close up moments of the intimacy of slipping into the escapism mindset? I'm just unsure on how to do this as I do not have people to take pictures of nor lighting to make the photography feel like a sensory experience. 

Today, I have been carrying on with sketch booking, reading and finalising poster work. My concerns at the moment are what I will be doing after this set of work is done as there is only so much I can do at home where there is no one to photograph or document. 

I am thinking of moving onto doing work where I take other footage or images and make them as part of my own work combined with graphics. For example a zine or video. I was also thinking of learning how to do animation to maybe create a stop motion involving movement of the body and colour which would evoke the feelings of loss of sense of self and reality? Even though I haven't completed this weeks work yet, I think that it is important to keep thinking about what will happen next so that when it comes to it I won't feel stifled. 

I began creating posters today. This took longer than anticipated as I took a long time watching Photoshop tutorials and practising the in Photoshop. I decided to go with one design I had in my sketchbook as I felt like this was the most appealing one to me and I am very happy with the outcome I have so far. The way I created this poster was through creating a blue square in Photoshop and using the Inner Bevel effect to play around with the additional pink movement within the square. I then cropped the page so that all you could see was the outcome of the square and then added typography over it. This is just a draft poster as I need to add more information on it including: DJ names, set times, what platform it'll be on etc. I was thinking of adding a QR code also but I don't want to go overboard with the design. Once this is all done, I would like to print it out and create folding creases on the poster to then scan back in, in order to create texture. 

Despite being happy with this draft, I may also carry on creating the other designs I had in my sketchbook just in case it sparks any other ideas + it would be good to just have options and practise. 

I am making a plan to alternate each day between research/workflow and producing work/sketchbook pages. Today I have made a very light start on this through creating drafts in my sketchbook of potential poster ideas that I could make to advertise my livestream set. 

I aim to keep my posters looking quite DIY with a slight edge to them. I enjoy the colourful aspect to the ones I did before, however, rather than focusing on collaging I may also look into photoshop techniques with typography to create something more technically challenging. 

Moreover, I have been calling out for DJ's to take part, in which I have been successful at so far. I have got on board two DJ's and a potential collective, I also may do a DJ set myself and so today I will also be practising some mixing skills to be able to feel very active in this work. I aim to do this livestream on Friday or Saturday as these would be the times that people would want to go out and have a dance. 

My concern is whether this all actually counts as a form of artwork, as it does feel loosely like performance art/interactive art but even then is this hanging by a thread? I also am worried that no one will tune in so my main focus should be on marketing this concept really well to gravitate people towards it despite not having any famous DJ's involved. 

Today I finally got started with my work and did my next draft of the video. I added archival rave footage that I found on Youtube from the late 80s and early 90s and I also added the famous dance song 'Vamp - Outlander' to coincide with the voice notes and set a vibrant, dance atmosphere to the video. 

After watching my second version, I felt that it was too busy with so many childhood activity excerpts going on, so as recommended by Lucy, I did another edit that only featured the swing videos and rave excerpts. I am happy with this final edit as it feels a lot more neater and clear. For the rest of the day, I will brush up on the PPP page and commune page of my workflow, as well as, making a start on some more sketchbook pages. 

After arriving in Newcastle, I found it quite a struggle to straight away get into the flow of continuing work. Therefore, I admittedly did not do much today. This has made me realise the significance of being able to have a regular space at the Archway campus to do work in and now I need to learn how to adapt and set a routine to prevent me from falling behind. Despite not doing a lot of physical work today, one rule I have set myself and have been following so far is that if I do have an unproductive day,  I should still at least have made the time to do some research. Whether that is reading a book, an article, a documentary or looking into past exhibitions so that I am constantly staying inspired and fuelled with references. 

Tomorrow, I aim to actually get the ball rolling with re-editing my film. I will be inserting archival footage of the rave scene in the late 80s, as well as, adding some music underneath the voice notes that add  rave-like atmosphere. 

The feedback from Lucy has been very helpful and calming to know that I am going in the right direction in terms of both Workflow and work whilst also having room for obtainable improvement. I agree strongly with Lucy's point on my Vox Pop having too much emphasis on the child-hood activities. There was something that did feel a bit off about the Vox Pop, but I couldn't pinpoint what, however now I realise it just did feel bit one-sided. This has taught me how important it is to keep seeking peer feedback where possible as it enables me to find things to improve on that I may not notice myself. 

Moreover, the feedback has helped give me a form of structure in terms of ideas to do next, websites that are good for research, the idea of doing 4 pages of sketchbook a day and writing on workflow daily. I was worried that during this isolation period, I'd get very lost on what to do or where to start, but these suggestions have got me excited to start making a new set of work that still links closely to my theme. 

Tomorrow, once I have settled down in Newcastle, I will make sure that my film is finished in terms of taking on the suggested feedback. I will also look into different methods I could livestream and what I could do during this to create an experience for the viewers that are similar to the nightlife atmosphere. 

I would like feedback on my Vox pop film displayed on my outcomes alongside the images. My intention of where it would be placed would be projecting it on a surface in a park with the photos hung beside it. Alternatively, I would have projected it on a wall at Archway since the walls there have a warehouse-y, run down effect and next to the projection I would have the photos placed, A4, in a group of 4. 

Next, I am quite stuck on what to do but I am considering doing some sound design work and attempt to learn more with animation/stop motion to create something that may have a sensory effect? I will do some tests and see how this goes. 

Note to Lucy: due to the rush that the corona virus has caused I have been unable to upload my sketchbook scans as I haven't had the time since I have spent this week trying to fit in hours at work before it closed down and then I had to pack and leave to go to Newcastle which is where I am on my way to currently to isolate.  However, when I arrive I will scan these in and have a sketchbook workflow page up by Friday. Apologies for this inconvenience. 

I wasn't able to do work today and probably will not be able to for the next few days as the COVID-19 situation has begun to get more serious, today have been to do with me sorting out what will be happening with work, contacting my acting agent and drama school about getting time off and packing to go and stay in Newcastle with my boyfriend's family to isolate somewhere more stable and social (as I live alone). This has been quite a worrying situation for me and many others because my two incomes come from hospitality work and acting; two industries that are starting to close down due to the virus. So, for now and the next few days I will be taking the time to prioritise my safety and wellbeing rather than avoiding important worries. After my tutorial feedback, I will then start to ease back into what the next steps will be and I am sure that getting feedback will be reassuring and motivating to carry on the work in a different direction.

Before work, I solely continued reading 'Escape Attempts' which has been an incredible form of research for me. As even though it isn't related directly to club culture, it provides an analytical approach to the way society as a whole perceives themselves within a routine reality versus the way they attempt to get away from it. The book also raises questions of discussion such as whether escapism is actually real in a world being controlled through surveillance? The idea of surveillance is such an interesting point to reflect on because there is always a point where we are being observed, even if we are on the way to somewhere more underground or private, a long the way the different forms of surveillance still keep track of us e.g CCTV. It could be an option to take in to consideration the angles of surveillance when documenting my work for example: in a birds-eye corner perspective, to make the work feel more intrusive and inescapable. 

With the books I am reading, I have been underlying all the lines that I find useful and I aim to type these all out and transcribe them in my sketchbook in order to develop the ideas. 

Today after work, I updated my workflow research. With my final project, I feel like I have started to broaden the way I approach research; rather than just using images and artists I know, I am starting to read more books, look at different exhibitions and not being afraid to incorporate non-related things. For example: Yesterday evening, I watched Netflix's 'The Crown' created by Petar Morgan. The episode was called 'Moondust' was about Prince Phillip's mid life crisis after seeing men land on the moon for the first time, he became so infatuated with what these men were doing that he started questioning the conventions of his life. Even though this isn't directly about escapism or club culture, it reminds me of how most people live very normal and routine lives which is what then causes obsession and desire for ideas that are unconventional to reality. 

I then, as mentioned yesterday, did some tweaks with my video. I decided against adding sound bites as I felt that this wasn't the focus of my video. My focus was on the contrast between the child-like actions and the woman talking about rave culture. So, I felt like if I added anything additional that wasn't necessarily significant, it may just be distracting. 

Tomorrow, was the day I was supposed to present this work to my class and then find out the new brief, however, I have been made aware today that all contact hours will be cancelled until news about the COVID-19 virus improves. I do have work in the evening, so tomorrow I will aim to carry on researching until I hear news about what the next steps are and I will also continue mind-mapping ideas on what plan B can be. Even though this is a disappointing situation, I am aiming to treat this as a new set of rules or challenge to create work that is so related to people and outside events within the realms of isolation. 

I also had drama school today and so I had to leave doing work until the evening time. The concern of the Corona Virus and the increase in people isolating themselves is making me having to rethink my whole project. My next steps were go to to some events and photograph them in a non-literal way (I wasn't sure how yet but this was something I was going to plan before the next week) However, many club events that I booked are at risk of being cancelled since many have been already. When I got home from work, I had to start considering what I was going to do next through mind-mapping in my sketchbook, I may even link my work now to the virus and the way people may still follow the club scene as a way to escape but on an underground or more introverted level? Yet, I don't want to do anything insensible at the moment in terms of going into spaces where a lot of people will be there as I don't want to pose risk to myself or other people. 

This has also raised concern about finishing off my last set of work in terms of going to go and project it at Archway campus, as I am unsure on where is the right or wrong place to go at the moment. I aim aiming to go in still on Tuesday just so that I can finalise this development and then from there, see what CSM will be doing and how I can adjust my work accordingly. 

Tomorrow, after work, I will catch up on my workflow, read extensively the books I have borrowed, update my sketchbook and make time to edit sounds into the video. 

Today I had drama school all day so I wasn't able to spend a full day on work, saying that I didn't really have much to do now which shows that I need to begin planning my next development. 

When I got home I edited the photos that I took on the shoot that fitted the colour and feel of the video, quite filmy, nostalgic and warm. Also, I went through the videos I took and screen grabbed the moments I liked, I focused only on the swing shots as I wanted the photo series to feel consistent and I didn't want it to just feel like stills from the whole film. Interestingly, because the swing shots were so rapid in movement, the screen shots would have a slight blur to them and at first I wasn't sure if I liked them, maybe I was too worried it didn't look clear or technically good? But, the more I looked at them, the more I found an interesting dynamic to them. I felt like I could feel the rapidness of the swinging sensation and the blurriness was actually very magical to view. Therefore, I decided to stick with editing these screen grabs since going back to my PPP, my intention was to be able to evoke a feeling of escapism and adrenaline and I feel that these do that. 

What next?  I will be going into Uni to project the video on the wall alongside placing the prints of the photography next to them in order to consider the effect of how and where this work can be placed.  

I finally finished the edit of the mini Vox pop today through colour grading the edit with a warm hue, as well as, adding Noise to feel like an archive of footage. I also played with the scale and added a lot of white space around the footage as I liked the way it looked, it also felt like something you would see in an old cinema and it may make the audience focus a bit more on what is going on. Then, I used GarageBand to edit the voice note sent to me by someone called Dina via WhatsApp. I didn't do much to it except add a filter over it that made it sound like a voicemail as this gave the voice note more texture to listen to. Similar to the videos, I had to listen through the voice note over and over and note down the bits that I really liked since not all of it really related to the video or felt effective enough. Once this was done I hovered it over the edit and placed parts of the voice notes where it felt appropriate. There still is a few gaps between the voice notes as Dina was the only person who volunteered to do so. So to develop this, I will either try to find more people to speak or come up with a sound design to insert in-between the overly silent areas, such as the sound of the swing. 

I decided to use one of the photographs I took and edit it into a poster for the film, with the title 'SWING'. I made the poster black and white with a similar feel to the film 'Beats' directed by Brian Welsh (which is a film about the 90s rave scene), in order to make the text stand out. I intend to then print the poster, destroy it slightly then scan it back in so that it follows the same feel that my previous posters had. Moreover, I realise that I do really enjoy the poster-making and it does fit in really well with my work so I plan to make a poster per development of my project so at the end I will have a series of them which may be a nice addition to the final outcome. 

Next, I will revisit my video and edit in sounds to fill in the gaps and I will also begin to edit the photos. 

Today I shot the short film/vox pop featuring my friend Kiran. I chose to use Kiran in this as with her being a very precise yet creative art student, I knew that I could get good shots without any unnecessary difficulties.

I find that the CSM equipment loan centre isn't adequate for foundation students since we don't get access to the more industry level equipment. I know it isn't all about how expensive the equipment it is that you use but I have been shooting on my iPhone most of this year so it would be nice to finally have access to something a bit more higher level, something to learn from as you can be very technically creative with a more professional camera. Also, this would mean that I would have work that I would feel confident to put in my portfolio. Luckily, Kiran's university also has a loan centre and so Kiran rented out a Canon 5D mkIII for me which was really fun and exciting to use. If I ever get the opportunity to access that camera again, I would take the time beforehand to watch tutorials and get to know the camera so that when I have it I can be more experimental with it since there were so many options I could've played around with. 

When we got to Grovelands Park, I started shooting in chronological order to the story board as this felt like the easiest option and we had no time restrictions on having to prioritise any particular shots. The exterior shoot went really swiftly and playfully as we ended up shooting additional ideas that sprung into my mind spontaneously. I was so pleased with the camera as well since it really picked up on very intricate details, as well as, beautiful lens flares. The only obstacle we had was when children would come into frame, we would have to stop and start since it would be illegal and also insensitive to record whilst children were in the background. Kiran was telling me about a photographer who gave a talk at her university whose process was shooting a video and then taking screen grabs from the video to include as her photo series. I found this so interesting as it was a way of using a different lens-based process to ultimately get the same result but rather than capturing the subject in the moment, she looks at it from a more outside perspective. So, whilst also taking still portraits of Kiran relating to the shoot, I also intend to take screen shots of the video and involve this as apart of the photography. After shooting the exteriors, we then went back to my flat to do the rest of the shots. This felt a lot easier and creative since I had a lot of warm lighting which gave us the opportunity to set an atmosphere, as well as this, we had the opportunity to be limitless with the work since there were no public concern that there may have been at the park. 

I began to edit the shoot in Premier Pro by placing the chosen shots in the order I wanted them. This process felt very strenuous as I had to go through all the videos (there was a lot) and note down all the shots I liked to then figure out where they would be placed in the edit and how this would correlate with the voice notes. It was getting pretty late once I completed the order of the edit and I didn't want to work with a tired mind so I did some reading and workflow then called it a day. Tomorrow I will finish the edit including editing the voice notes and placing these in to the edit. If I have time as well, I will also begin screen grabbing aspects of the video I like, and edit these as photos. 

When picking my location I was thinking about proximity between where I and the model lives to there, whether it contains a swing and a slope-y hill as well as how busy it would be. As I am filming tomorrow, Thursday which is a School day, I understand that it actually wouldn't be that busy in most places so this rule I was less strict on. Living in North London, I decided to go to my childhood place, Grovelands Park as it had all the features I needed without feeling to modern or flat. I didn't want a modern looking park since the voice notes featured will be talking about the rave scene from the 80s so even though the park aesthetic is very loosely compared to the feelings of going to a rave, I still wanted to keep it in a similar context. 

In my sketchbook, I completed the storyboard of each shot I intended to do alongside noting down the type of shot, description and a very non-specific colour scheme. The reason why the colour scheme was non-specific was because I was not very fussed on what colours were featured in the shots but more focused on how it will be colour graded; the colour grading will feel warm, grainy and nostalgic. Creating the mood board was pretty easy for me since I already had sketches beforehand of a rough idea on how I wanted everything to look and what was going to happen. So, the storyboard was more about just piecing it altogether in the right order, as well as, starting to think creatively about what shots to do. 

Getting voice notes was a lot harder to do since I don't know many people who were growing up in the 1980s. Eventually, it clicked to me that my mum grew up in the 80s and she had a few friends who were apart of the rave scene. Kindly, she did a shout out on social media asking to see if people could get in contact with me and leave me voice notes answering the questions I'd provide them. Only one person got back to her and I think this may be because possibly now everybody has more professional careers, families etc. maybe they do not want to openly discuss about an illegal scene. The one person who got back to me, Dina, is still big in the dance scene as an occasional bouncer and hearing her speak about the rave scene through her voice notes sounded magical. The way she described it as being the best time of her life, describing the connectedness and freedom of the crowd just made the voice note so enticing and fascinating. There was no one else that got back to me to do voice notes so unless I manage to find anymore people by the end of the week, I may just think of ways I can use sound design to fill in the gaps of the video. 

Today I had an acting job during the day and so I wasn't able to do much work until evening time. However, knowing that my research could be limitless, I started to pay more attention on the film production side of the job I was on as well as ways my character was experiencing escapism and isolation since digging deep and asking questions in these unrelated areas of my uni work all still contributes to discovering new ideas.

After the shoot was wrapped, I then went to CSM library and scanned some stuff in such as my final destructed posters, sketchbook pages etc. and also printed out images that I wanted to scan into my sketchbook. Also, I started to read the book "Escape Attempts" by Stanley Cohen and Laurie Taylor which has been incredibly helpful with my work understanding why people look to escape from everyday life, the different form of escapisms alongside different theories regarding this. I aim to get this book finished before it's return deadline and have been underlining quotes that I have found interesting which I will then note down and annotate in my sketchbook to then mind map more ideas to develop my work. 

Tomorrow my intention is to start planning properly my film in terms of creating a storyboard and potentially reference/colour board, as well as, looking at what equipment I'll use, who will be included in it and where it will be shot. 

My progress tutorial with Lucy today was very encouraging and useful in knowing which direction I was going in. I am pleased that my DIY structured posters came across effective since this process is something I am very strong about following through with the rest of the project. Moreover, I am now aware of the importance of staying productive on this project since it can be very easy into slipping into procrastination, especially after work. In terms of Workflow, I know to now update it on a daily basis rather than just when I have completed something since this doesn't show my true progression and so I will treat the contextual practise page as a formal diary. 

Lucy advised me on ensuring that my research is more versatile in terms of reading more books and going to more exhibitions, being more culturally inspired by several different areas of topics rather than just focusing on escapism. So, after my tutorial I went to the library and picked up three books: "Night Passages" by Elisabeth Bronfen, "The Essentials of Psycho Analysis by Freud and "Escape Attempts: The Theory and Practise of Resistance to Everyday Life" by Stanley Cohen and Laurie Taylor. These books range from philosophy, sociology and psychology; they don't directly link to my theme but seem to contain ideas that will definitely create an influence over where I end up with the project. I am really excited to read these books and also being unafraid now to delve into things that aren't necessarily art related since I used to study academic subjects in sixth form and was something I really enjoyed but never thought I had the time to do. I'd also like to start associating more of my acting life into the work through going to plays, watching more films and taking part in workshops to spark divisive ways to incorporate my body/performance art into the project.

This week, I intend to make a small Vox pop on adults reflecting on the dance scene during their adolescence. Below are the questions I will be asking: 

• What do you remember about going to raves? 
• Why did you go? 
• Did you find a sense of escapism/letting go/going into your world
• If yes, How did this feel?
• What was the political climate at the time?

My intention with these questions is to pull out there experiences of escaping to a different world amidst the struggles of daily life; to feel a sense of euphoria/release. 

Rather than taking videos and pictures at raves, I will be contrasting this with videos of people jumping off swings, rolling down hills, falling etc. these nostalgic feeling of immediate-release that we did as children. I aim to compare how the feeling of escapism comes from a core that can expand in many different ways. E.g such a rebellious, intense and sensory experiences within the dance scene can evoke the same feeling of simple childhood activities. Maybe this video will evoke questions of whether we use methods of escapism to try and chase that childhood playfulness.

Using my sketchbook, I drafted out the vision I had for my short video, who will be involved, how I will gather voice notes and how I will present my work. 

I have come up with 4 to 5 activities that my subject will do. The subject will be an adult as even though the activities are childhood-like, having an adult do them will link back to the theme of nostalgia and wanting to chase that feeling of innocent euphoria again.  The activities I have decided on are: jumping off of a swing, falling backwards, jumping in a puddle, rolling down a hill and rolling up in a duvet. I chose these because these activities cause immediate joy and are quite fast pace and active whereas slower actions may dilute the feeling I am intending to get across. These montages will then be paired up with the voice notes of people growing up n the 80s answering questions on the rave experience and how it links to escapism. The people I will be using are friends of my mum's, my mum was born in 1969 and so her and her friends late teenage years and early twenties were at the height of the rave scene in the 80s.

To present my work, I will project the film on the wall at Archway as the ware-house building of this campus relates closely to the theme of rave. Alongside this will be a series of snapshots from the film that I will shoot separately on films that people can take a longer look at each activity and what this may convey to them. 

Another possible option, if I am able to have access to a portable projector is to project this work in a park and have the photos scattered around on an a5 scale to feel like little treasures found from the past, which is also a big theme of this video. 

• Research into Mark Leckey 
• SHOOT PROPOSAL: shoot people on swings, falling backwards, childhood like activities contrasting with voiceovers of adults talking about the dance scene
• If the intention is to not make cliche rave scene photos, try to think of different ways to link it to exterior things rather than being literal 
• Plan more library and exhibition visits
• Make workflow public!!!

I went to visit the Barbican as instructed as part of the brief and walked around, took some photographs of aspects that I found interesting. Such as the brutalist structures, the geometrics of the interior and the way there are contrast between the rough textures and painted walls. It is a very fascinating set of buildings and stands out amongst the city high rises of Moorgate, however, I chose not to do my site project here as it does remind me very much of a-level photography as in my class this location was very overdone. I don't think my work would make sense here anyway and I appreciate the building for what it is but I personally feel like for my work it would be a lazy option and not well thought out if I just placed posters there.

Today, I went to Hackney Wick to place my posters in different locations that would fit. Weirdly, at first I felt a bit awkward doing this as I didn't know whether it would cause security to come over and people kept looking to see what I was doing, however, eventually I got over this concern and enjoyed playing around with the different areas of Hackney Wick. 

I placed my posters on walls that were covered with event posters. I thought that my posters would just blend in, however, I noticed that they actually stood out because the intention of my posters were different to the others in a sense that every poster on there was to advertise for a night but mine were just messages to encourage people to question their daily routine. Then, I placed one poster on a lamp post, even though it had the same effect as when it was on the wall, it was fun to experiment with the way the shape of the poster changes on different platforms. Here, the 'Escape' poster curved around and one would have to walk around the lamppost to get the full experience. Lastly, I placed the 'Lose Yourself' poster in the corner of a bus stop shelter which heavily contrasted with the roughness of the print against the clear glass. It was surprisingly very noticeable but at the same time introverted in the corner which therefore transformed the experience to be subtly confrontational.

Next, I could either continue placing these posters in different places or alternatively, use the photographs I have taken of the posters in the locations, print them and then place them in a site themselves as if it was an archival piece of a specific time.  

Today I started to consider how to make my posters feel more closer to the environment I will be placing them in. The whole aspect of them are that they are DIY and will be stuck around public spaces that may be a bit more gritty than usual. I felt that the images on my posters felt too neat and organised and so I printed the images out, ripped them around the sides, then scanned them back on to the poster. As a result, this felt a lot more up to the standard I was expecting and added more texture to the poster. Moreover, I printed the final design of the posters out then ripped, scrunched, scratched them about so that they felt more used and abandoned. These final prints are the posters that I am very happy and ready to place around my chosen locations. 

Next, I would like to consider the type of paper and printer I use to print with. I feel that these posters could look even more textured and relatable to the club-type posters by maybe using newsprint paper and printing on low quality printers that you'd find in post offices or off licenses. It could be interesting as well to place these posters in a contrasting situation, for example: rather than placing them on abandoned walls, public transport etc. Maybe this would be effective on the window of a fancy office building. 

scan in pics of poster design , fonts and rips 

Putting posters revolving around escapism in a location where people engage in daily routine and reality, such as committing to work, catches the viewer off guard creating a contrasting and impactful effect.

Similar to the tube ad, placing a poster in the window would catch you off guard because of how discreet it is. At night, when the shop lights are glowing, this will also cause it to stand out a lot more linking to the nocturnal-ness of a lot of escapism and how away from reality it becomes. 

Big, bold and confrontational. It would be a more interesting take as well for the viewer as the poster has more emotive connotation than just a commercial displaying a product. It is an approach that is a lot easier to notice than the other two but still holds that DIY essence of being out on the streets. 

After researching the theme of my work, the locations it would be appropriate for and how this could all tie into installing a piece at the Barbican, I decided that I would create a series of posters. The DIY approach to creating posters for events is something I've always loved looking at and with my strengths being collaging I thought this could be a relevant and effective starting point.

With my theme being on escapism, a lot of my focus is on dance culture. When thinking of fitting work into a location, I specifically became inspired by how in places like Stokes Croft, Bristol and Hackney, London, the areas are heavily influenced by underground party scenes and especially in Stokes Croft, you see tattered posters advertising club events plastered everywhere. So, with the influence from Barbara Kruger's eye-catching text work alongside examples of event posters, I created posters that came across like a club event advertisement but instead, was a piece of imagery and text intending to make one question their own experience with escapism and whether they do let go enough.

My first drafts on Photoshop were compilations of image and text. I chose to use the fonts: "HWT Arabesque" and "TitlingGothicFB Extended" as they were fun and bold. "HWT Arabesque" had a very 80s feel to it, which links very closely with how prominent the dance scene was in that decade and "TitlingGothicFB Extended" is the font that Crack Magazine uses, which is a Bristol-based music magazine that focuses mainly on dance music. After doing my first drafts, something about the posters felt too finished and glossy, so I took elements from the posters such as the images, printed them out, ripped them up then placed them back in the poster. I also decided to add cut-outs of newspaper into the work to make it feel more rough and textured.

When I print these, I intend to rough them up a bit more through screwing it up then unfolding, scratching out areas etc. so that they have that Stokes Croft handmade and abandoned feel to it. I feel like this will both fit in and also stand out at the Barbican since the Barbican is a brutalist area where this type of aesthetic will suit the location, however, because it is so clean and lacking in any wall art, it will hopefully and most likely catch people off guard.

SCAN IN SKETCHBOOK PAGES

Very fitting to put my posters in this location since Stokes Croft has a massive dance scene, is quite arty and DIY so even though this wouldn't catch people off guard, it would just be an appropriate and appreciated place to put them. 

This location also has a similar feel to Stokes Croft in Bristol being very creative and DIY. I believe that putting the work here would be effective since the arty demographic of Hackney Wick would notice and react to it a lot more than just an office man passing by